Why Do We ‘Cry Uncle’ To Admit Defeat?

Think back to times of playfully tussling with an older sibling or being the unfortunate recipient of playground taunting — you may have been forced to shout “Uncle!” when it was time to admit defeat. This familial phrase is essentially another way to say, “I give up,” though it’s not entirely clear why uncles are the go-to choice above aunts or other relatives. Some claim the phrase comes from the Irish language, others trace it to Roman culture, and there are those who say that crying uncle originated as a joke.

According to the Oxford English Dictionary, some suggest that the “uncle” in the phrase “say uncle” is a folksy variation of the Irish word anacol, which means “protection.” This theory is popular, but the timeline doesn’t exactly align. While the phrase dates back to the 19th century, the association between “say uncle” and the Irish language wasn’t proposed until 1976, when that theory appeared in the academic journal American Speech. However, it lacked any reliable supporting evidence.

Others believe that “say uncle” comes from societal customs in the Roman Empire. It’s said that when Roman youngsters got into trouble, they’d shout the Latin phrase patrue mi patruissime (which translates to “uncle, my best of uncles”), perhaps calling out to a respected figure to help them.

There’s a third origin story for this phrase that many consider the most likely, and it has to do with a somewhat tasteless joke from the late 19th century. This joke first appeared in the June 20, 1891, edition of the Weekly Irish Times in Dublin, and was reprinted later that year in newspapers throughout London and in Iowa. The premise of the joke is that a man is bragging to friends about how he can get his parrot to repeat anything. However, when he tries to get the parrot to say “uncle,” it comes up short. The man then tosses the parrot into a pen of fowls and leaves it for dead. But when he returns, he sees the parrot has killed the rest of those fowls and is standing over one shouting, “Say uncle!”

This joke likely helped introduce the phrase to the Americas, though we may never know if the phrase predated this comic strip, and why the parrot owner chose “uncle” of all words.