I don’t claim grammatical authority, but if I may humbly make one recommendation, I move to retire the use of “whom” — or at least stop reprimanding writers who’d prefer to use “who.” I’m not the first to suggest this; even Merriam-Webster notes that the demise of “whom” has been discussed by scholars since 1870. Many proponents of the discontinuation of “whom” point out that in most cases, “who” can take the place of “whom,” rendering the latter redundant. I agree that while “whom” sounds charming when used properly, it’s largely impractical.
To understand the fuss, let’s revisit the respective functions of “whom” and “who.” “Whom” is an object pronoun — much like “him,” “her,” or “me” — as seen in the example, “Whom did you see?” in which the subject is “you” and “whom” is the object of the verb “see.” On the other hand, “who” is used as a subject pronoun, akin to “I,” “he,” or “she.” For instance, “who” is the subject in the sentence, “Who was elected?”
Although this grammatical practice has endured for centuries, there’s now a tendency to excessively police the usage of “whom”/”who,” resulting in a linguistic landmine that causes distress to students, writers, and professionals who (erm — or is it whom? — no, definitely who) agonize over which one is correct.
Understandably, many people would rather do away with this grammatical dilemma, so “who” has begun replacing “whom” in casual conversation. “Who” feels more informal and intuitive in most scenarios. “Who did you see?” rolls off the tongue far more naturally than its technically correct counterpart. In a modern world that values fast, efficient communication over correctness, “who” often prevails.
With that said, a few reasonable arguments persist in favor of “whom.” The classic prepositional constructions “with whom,” “to whom,” or “from whom” have a rhythmic quality that can’t be adequately replaced by “who.” In these situations, you always have the option of rephrasing. For example, instead of asking someone, “With whom are you traveling?” you might rephrase and say, “Who are you traveling with?” because it feels more natural. This may make your high school English teacher cringe, but it’s what most people would actually say in casual conversation. (And we’re on the side of breaking the rule against ending sentences with prepositions.)
But before we officially send “whom” off on its farewell tour, we should note that the word seems to have developed another application as part of a new phrase: “whom of which.” It’s used like so: “My ethics professor, whom of which is my favorite teacher, writes many books.” In 2023, MIT linguistics professor David Pesetsky described the phrase as “brand new,” “very colloquial,” and “extremely law-governed.” Respectfully, I will be abstaining from this curious new construction — after all, do we really need another tangled usage of “whom” to debate?
More from our network
Word Smarts is part of Optimism, which publishes content that uplifts, informs, and inspires.
