9 Bizarre Insults You Never Hear Anymore

Biting insults are a matter of creative expression and have been since long before Gen Zers began deriding people as “chud” or “mid.” Look back hundreds of years and you’ll find some truly strange epithets — or strange to our modern ears, at least. These archaic verbal barbs are long obsolete, but it’s interesting to see the depth of creativity around vintage insults. Here are nine examples of insulting terms that may sound a bit goofy to the modern ear.

The term “snollygoster” refers to “a shrewd, unprincipled person.” It gained a particular prominence in the realm of 19th-century American politics. An 1895 piece in The Columbus Dispatch defined the insult as “a fellow who wants office regardless of party, platform or principles and who, whenever he wins, gets there by the sheer force of monumental talknothical assumnacy.” Though the term’s origins are disputed, some claim it’s a variation of “snallygaster” — a word for a mythical creature in rural Maryland that’s part reptile, part bird, and rumored to prey on poultry and children.

In A Classical Dictionary of the Vulgar Tongue (1788), Francis Grose defined a Duke of Limbs as “a tall, awkward, ill-made fellow.” In other words, people would bestow this unwanted regal title upon anyone unfortunate enough to have ungainly, gangly limbs.

The origins of the insult “lickspittle” — defined as “a fawning subordinate” — date back to 1586, when “licke the spittle” was used in a commentary about the Hebrew biblical book of Haggai as a metaphor for someone who laps up the saliva of their master. By the mid-17th century, the word “lickspittle” had gained traction as a general insult. It’s more or less a synonym for “bootlicker,” “sycophant,” or any other term to describe an obsequious individual.

We turn back to A Classical Dictionary of the Vulgar Tongue for the definition of “grumbletonian,” a word that means “a discontented person; one who is always railing at the times, or ministry.” This insult was used in the late 17th century among members of England’s Court Party (now known as Tories) toward members of the opposing Country Party, who were criticized for “being actuated by dissatisfied personal ambition.” Essentially, grumbletonians are constant complainers.

A simple, foolish, or absent-minded individual could be called a mooncalf. The word comes from a superstition that moons could affect the development of farm animals during pregnancy, leading to deformed births. “Mooncalf” was used by William Shakespeare to describe a deformed creature in The Tempest. The term grew into a more general insult by 1614, used in reference to dim-witted souls.

A saddle-goose is an absolute fool. The meaning of this insult is right there in the name; it stems from the idea of attempting to put a saddle on a goose, which almost everyone would agree is a foolish endeavor. This insult was coined during the 19th century.

The insult “smellfungus” comes from British novelist Laurence Sterne’s 1768 book, A Sentimental Journey Through France and Italy. He used it in reference to author Tobias Smollett, who had written Travels Through France and Italy two years prior. Sterne viewed Smollett as a hypercritical traveler who was always complaining, so he created a character named Smelfungus (with one “l”) to satirize Smollett, which gave rise to the insult “smellfungus.” 

“Gundy-gut” refers to “a guttonous, voracious person” — think Mr. Creosote in Monty Python’s classic film The Meaning of Life. The term dates back to 1699, combining the word “gundy” — a Scottish candy made with treacle — and “gut,” referencing a person’s paunchy stomach.

“Ultracrepidarian” is an insult for a person who makes presumptions and offers advice or opinions beyond their sphere of knowledge. It comes from an ancient tale about the Greek painter Apelles, who was criticized by a cobbler for the way that he depicted a foot in one of his paintings. Apelles is said to have offered a rebuke along the lines of ultra crepidam — which is Latin for “beyond the sole” — thus implying that the cobbler should stick to shoemaking.