7 Mental Health Buzzwords You May Be Misusing

Once confined to clinical settings, therapy words such as “trigger” and “trauma” crop up everywhere these days, from morning talk shows to casual conversations and social media. According to a recent survey by the mental health clinic Thriveworks, 95% of Americans reported hearing so-called therapy speak in everyday life. This may help normalize mental health awareness, which is a good thing. But at the same time, using these words in casual contexts can diminish the seriousness of certain conditions or lead to the misuse of important mental health concepts. 

While it’s typically OK to use these terms in everyday conversation, be mindful of who you are speaking to and how you are using certain words. Here’s a breakdown of some of the most popular therapy speak used in everyday life, along with what these terms really mean.

Imagine flipping through old photos with a friend when they laugh and say, “I cannot relive the trauma of my senior prom dress!” While clearly said in jest, this kind of usage reflects a larger trend: “Trauma” has become shorthand for anything embarrassing, awkward, or unpleasant.

Clinically, however, the American Psychological Association (APA) defines “trauma” as a disturbing experience that causes “significant fear, helplessness, dissociation, confusion, or other disruptive feelings.” These events might include serious accidents, violence, war, or natural disasters, but people can also experience trauma in their everyday lives, which may cause lasting effects on their mental health and daily functioning.

“Self-care,” in medical and mental health contexts, refers to essential daily activities — such as eating, dressing, and grooming — that can be managed independently. In recent years, however, this term has expanded significantly to encompass any action taken to improve mental, emotional, or physical health.

Social media influencers, for example, use “self-care” to describe their wellness routines, spa days, and shopping trips. In this context, self-care involves treating yourself or doing something indulgent as a reward. In modern slang, if it makes you happy, it’s self-care, though this usage obscures the term’s clinical meaning.

You’ve probably heard someone say, “I’m so OCD about my desk” or “She’s OCD about her coffee order.” In everyday speech, “OCD” is often incorrectly used to describe extreme neatness, organization, or particularity in personal preferences.

However, OCD, obsessive-compulsive disorder, is actually a clinically diagnosed condition characterized by intrusive and distressing thoughts, called obsessions. These cause people to repeat behaviors or mental acts — known as compulsions — to reduce anxiety. The disorder can be all-consuming and very disruptive to daily life, and the casual use of “OCD” undermines a serious mental health condition.

Like “OCD,” “toxic” is an overextended term that has been weakened in everyday conversation. In therapy speak, toxic people are consistently difficult, demanding, and even hostile. Similarly, toxic relationships are often one-sided, supporting only one person’s needs. These people and situations can involve manipulation, disrespect, and even emotional harm or abuse.

In everyday parlance, however, “toxic” is a catchall for anything unpleasant — from difficult co-workers to minor disagreements. But having one argument with your sibling about vacation isn’t a truly toxic situation. Often, its use also oversimplifies situations. If you say, “My boss is so toxic,” are they actually toxic, or do they just not communicate effectively? Nuance is important when implementing this term.

Most casual uses of “trigger” involve minor irritations. For example, a flight gets canceled or a manager calls a last-minute Friday meeting, and those involved complain that they feel triggered. While these annoyances may cause anxiety or upset, that doesn’t fit the therapy version of “trigger.” In clinical settings, a trigger is a more serious phenomenon that those with post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) struggle with.

By the APA’s definition, a trigger is a stimulus — such as an anniversary, a sensory cue, or even violence in the news — that elicits a reaction. These events can remind a person with PTSD of a memory from a traumatic experience, resulting in negative mental and physical symptoms.

Whether in the context of the workplace or dating advice, “boundary” is a buzzword. Today, people often say they’re setting boundaries when reacting to others’ behavior. For example, abruptly ending a friendship over delayed text responses may be framed as “setting a boundary,” but it can also reflect avoidance rather than healthy communication.

Originally, “boundary” had a strictly psychological definition: something that helps a person set realistic limits on participation in a relationship or activity. It’s about what you will and won’t accept, and how you’ll react when those lines are crossed. A true boundary may be turning your phone to “Do Not Disturb” in the evenings to better your mental health. You might communicate boundaries by telling someone that if they do a certain thing (such as show up late), you will respond with a certain behavior (such as leaving without them). A boundary is something you manage through your own behavior in a consistent, self-respecting way.

“Gaslighting” means “to psychologically manipulate someone over a period of time.” It can cause a person to second-guess their thoughts, memories, and even perception of reality. Say a friend promises to talk about an argument later, but when the time comes, they deny that the conversation or argument ever happened. This is an example of gaslighting; it can make you question your own memory of the event, which can be deeply upsetting if it happens repeatedly.

In modern slang, people incorrectly apply this term to everyday disagreements, as in, “He said he didn’t like the movie. He’s gaslighting me!” True gaslighting distorts reality; it isn’t about differing opinions. The misuse of this term — and other therapy speak — can make it hard to determine whether the speaker is referring to the clinical or casual definition.